The next few weeks went by in a blur as I sat final exams and negotiated the final Court Orders. By this stage, I was chronically fatigued. The mental and emotional trauma of the past 17 months had finally caught up with me and my body was giving up.
Everyday I had to psyche myself up just to get out of bed, get the kids ready and off to daycare so that I could come home and study for exams. I was so tired by this stage, I was taking Redbull and Mother Energy drinks just to stay awake long enough to study a few hours before falling back into bed, unable to continue on.
Thankfully the children were off to the Ex’s for Christmas this year and I’d booked myself a holiday at Club Med in the Whitsundays. For years I’d wanted to go to Club Med as the thought of an all-inclusive holiday sounded like just the thing I needed. Had I known it was about 155 steps to my room from the restaurant every day I might have changed my mind.
Upon arrival I had to walk down to reception and then back up to my room and by the time I got there I collapsed on the bed and didn’t leave again until the next day.
Determined to make the most of this holiday, I continued my pattern of forcing myself to get out of bed and go do some activities, even trying Flying Trapeze. Thankfully they had safety harnesses, or it might have been a not so happy ending.
You see at this time in my life, I hadn’t learned how to just relax and not feel guilty that I wasn’t continually doing something. For some reason, I thought that was for lazy people. My body was totally hating my brain by this stage for all it wanted and needed was rest. But push on I did, finishing my holiday feeling even more fatigued than before.
Later on I would learn from a Natropath that it was only my brain keeping my body upright for my body had given up months before and he was perplexed that I’d not been hospitalised for exhaustion. I guess it just goes to show just how powerful our mind and will power can be.
Despite the obvious fatigue, I still downtime from the kids and was looking forward to seeing them again.
No sooner had they come back from holidays did the dramas start, yet again.
You see, I’d been on a bit of a high during my break knowing that the Court Orders had been signed off and I was to receive my share of the property settlement in just a few short weeks. That was until the Ex did a truly stupid thing that would derail the whole process and waste yet another year of my life, not to mention tens of thousands of dollars.
But that’s a story for another week.
Thanks for reading
Love and Gratitude