For the next few months, there was a reasonable amount of peace in our life. Negotiations for the final court orders were ongoing, but at least the kids and I were able to settle into somewhat of a routine.
That was, until I found out my youngest had to have an operation to have his tonsils and adenoids removed and grommets put in his ears. A relatively straight forward procedure, (you’d think) and one that was desperately needed. For the past 18 months I couldn’t remember a time when Jacobie was either sick with an ear/throat infection or on anti-biotics. The poor kids was miserable a lot of the time and many nights crying out for me to comfort him.
So after consulting an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist, the operation date was booked. That was when the dramas started up again. Suddenly, after taking no interest in Jacobie’s medical issues or assisting to pay for any of the specialist visits, the Ex decided he was not going to sign the consent form for the operation to proceed. When I asked why, his response was that he’d done the research and it’s too dangerous for our son to have anaesthetic at his age. I would later come to realise that my Ex was a ‘Dr Google & Web MD’ expert.
Having fulltime care of the kids I thought I could just by-pass his authority but what I found out was that despite having the kids 335 days of the year, we had ‘equal parental responsibility’. Yeah right, I’d yet to see any responsibility from the Ex when it came to raising the kids.
After weeks of trying to negotiate, I found myself bursting into tears at the Doctor’s office from sheer frustration and exhaustion. With only 3 weeks to go I was at my wit’s end. My GP was great, even offering to write a letter to the Registrar of the Court to have them order the operation to go ahead.
Thankfully, eventually the Ex agreed to the operation, suddenly insisting on flying over from Perth to be here for the operation. So after months of refusing approval, the Ex shows up and tried to take over, insisting he should be the one to go into the theatre room with him and stay overnight in the hospital. In years to come, this would become a pattern when he swoops in last minute for the glory but none of the hard yards.
The operation went ahead smoothly with Jacobie celebrating his 3rd birthday in hospital, definitely not one to forget.
When I asked the Ex for his half of the out of pocket costs, I got greeted with “I can’t afford it”. Up until this point, he’d not contributed to any of the out of pocket medical costs for the specialist so it was not overly surprising. What did make my blood boil though was the fact that he took our older son out shopping and came back with about $300 worth of clothes and toys for the kids but couldn’t give me $400 for his share of the operation. Yep, you guessed it, this would become a repeating pattern whenever I asked for money for necessities.
Anyway, we managed to survive three days in each other’s company and things settled down again. Well at least I thought they had.
Thanks for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog, until next time.
Love and gratitude